Gone Today, Hair Tomorrow

Sometime in the 90’s a wondrous thing happened; the shaving trend took hold. The once fetish of bare lady parts became a standard fixture of beauty maintenance. By the new millennium you were pretty much guaranteed that when a girl invited you in for dinner you would be greeted by hard wood floors not pile carpet. All was right with the World!

Yes, I am a bush hater! Even when the fur bikinis of the 70’s transitioned into the varied trim patterns of the 80’s I wasn’t happy. What’s the point of trimming the outfield when all the action happens in the infield? Maybe it’s OK for playing ball but for a picnic I prefer the grass clear cut. And I do love a good picnic. Which is why I am concerned.

As a purveyor of adult entertainment in its various forms, I am seeing a “growing trend” among women and it has to stop.

Ladies I implore you to not abandon the razor. If you do you risk undermining the progress you have gained in the last decade.

For one, fashion has benefited from not having to accommodate undergrowth with more flattering panty lines, and lighter airier fabrics. Lets not bring back the days of bikini bulges. Do you really want to look like you are hiding a pot scrubber in your panties?

The advances have not only been in fashion; there have been great social strides as well. Think of all the offensive names that have all but disappeared from common use, like Beaver, Muff and Fur Burger. Now the derogatory names have been replaced by cute pet names like Coochie and Poochie.

And not to hit on a sour note, but while we are on the topic of things that are less offensive; since the hair has been gone so has the “not so freshness”. Let’s be honest here, the reason guys weren’t so readily heading downtown before shaves was because it was not a nice neighborhood. Now since the clean up a lot of guys, and girls, go there just to hang out for the afternoon.

If that’s not enough to convince you then consider this. If the cabbage patch comes back you will never be able to lie about that being your natural hair color again, unless you plan on dying the carpets once a week.

So girls, PLEASE just say no to fur… in your pants!