Are They Cheating?

Today I was in Starbuckaroos gettin’ some bean juice and listenin’ to some good jazz they had playin’. And while sittin’ and contemplatin’ how I could write an article using as few G’s as possible I was distract by a couple havin’ a conversation.

The little miss was concerned that her hombre was steppin’ out with another philly. I quickly abondoned my G-less article concept deciding it would be very annoying and focused all me energies on ease dropping.  Lets skip to the end real quick. I will tell you that by the conclusion of their conversation the young lady was satisfied that her man loved her and he would never cheat. Also based on her body language as they left he was gonna get some for being so loyal.

Thing is, he lied! Lied like a preacher on Monday – Saturday and twice on Sunday. How do I know? Well I will tell you.

He’s cheating on her with me! No no I’m only kidding. Seriously if you find yourself in one of these uncomfortable situations the only lie detector you need is some good observation skills.

So here’s the trick. When you ask, watch your partners immediate reaction carefully. By immediate I mean immediate, the reaction they have the split second their brain comprehends the words you spoke. First off if you see a split second of happiness, like a little smirk or smile or delight in their eyes any other emotion that follows is unimportant, its over. Just stand up and walk out before you get hurt further. If they flash happiness they’re cheating and were waiting for you to find out. They’ve probably been looking for an excuse to bail for a long time and if you stick around they will mostly take the opportunity to twist the knife and destroy you.

Most people that aren’t fucked up and vindictive are going to show an immediate flash of fear. This is the normal reaction to being confronted with a potentially bad situation however it’s not an indicator guilt or innocence. If that fear is followed by anger or defensiveness then they’re most likely guilty. If fear is followed by more fear or concern then the scale swings towards innocent. But you want definitive proof so the next thing you need do is press them on the matter. Ask again, and again if you haft to.

In the case of our coffee shop couple the girl asked the guy a few times and besides denying it he did two other things and they indicated he was lying. One, his voice dropped a bit and got stern and he took a slightly aggressive posture. Second, he said “No I am not cheating”. Typically when someone is lying they they become defensive and even aggressive and they tend to repeat the accusation as to drive home their defense and say that is the final word. If someone is telling the truth the initial fear or shock of your accusation will followed by concern and when pressed they typically regress, they still may become defensive but in a more contemplative manner as they try and find some information or reasoning that can support their innocence.

Just remember this; lies are defended, the truth is supported.

It’s often good to confront your partner with a friend by your side. Have that friend call them a liar when they plead innocent. Your partner is more likely to lose control and either lash out at your friend if guilty or withdraw and become more concerned at the accusations mounting against them if innocent.

This is the same for both men and women however womens responses are much harder to spot because they are far more comfortable putting up emotional fronts and controlling indicators. Also makeup, plastic surgery, botox; all these things mask physical indicators in women. Which is why we have the stereotype of the cheating man when women are just as likly to cheat, they’re just more successful at not getting caught.

So there you have you it. Now you can amaze your family and friends at your next social gathering by calling the person you’re dating out on their affair with that whore they met at the laundry mat.