Man’s Best Friend

In Michael Moore’s 2002 Documentary Bowling for Columbine there is brief segment about a hunter who’s shot by his dog. The story goes he’d dressed up a puppy in a hunters vest and slung his rifle over the dog in order to take some cute pictures. The gun “went off” and shot the man in the leg.

In Moore’s interview with a local law enforcement official about the incident the official stated that the dog was not arrested since under the current laws an animal cannot commit a crime.

An amusing story? Perhaps on its own, but if you dive a little deeper you will find that the real story behind “mans best friend” is not so laughable.

Oct 1 2004 – ZAGREB, Croatia a veteran Croatian hunter was shot by his own hound while preparing to go off into the woods. The hunter was treated for a fractured leg bone the dog got off without so much as a slap on the paw.

Sep 9 2004 – PENSACOLA, Florida Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, was treated for a gunshot wound to his wrist trying to shoot seven unwanted puppies. He himself  was shot when one of the pups put its paw on the revolver’s trigger. Given the circumstances the authorities let the incident slide.

Jan 24 2003 – WINCHESTER, VA a man allegedly beating the dog on the head with the butt of a rifle-shotgun is killed when the gun discharges hitting him in the lower abdomen. Could what people observed as the man beating his dog actually have been him defending himself against a homicidal canine?

Nov 6 2003 – PARIS, France a French hunter was shot after he left a loaded shotgun in the car with his two dogs. Accident? Maybe, but what investigators did not bother to reveal is that the man had changed to a generic brand of dog food only days before.

Aug 1 2002 – LUGANSK, Ukraine a Ukrainian man was messing around with friends tosses a live grenade which promptly retrieved by his dog killing them both.

Oct 28 2002 – BROOKLYN PARK, Min 42-year-old Michael Murray is shot in the right ankle with a 12-gauge shotgun by his one-year-old English Setter “Sonny”.

Nov 12 2000 – TOKOROA, New Zealand dog shoots master on pig hunt.

Aug 20 1999 – STUTTGART, Germany man is shot dead by his dog.

The list goes on but it’s clear that there is more to our canine companions than we first thought. You have to wonder with dogs being so good at burring things how many deaths have gone undiscovered?

Do dogs truly deserve the title of mans best friend? Cats may be somewhat anti-social and may act superior once in a while but at least they don’t shoot you.

Perhaps this all stems from Bob Barker with his castration and sterilization propaganda. Or it could be a plot reaching all the way back to the first domestications; who knows. But it’s obvious that you should watch your dog around guns. You should probably lock up your knives as well.

So next time you are playing fetch and laughing your ass off when your dog goes after the stick you didn’t really throw, think twice. How far do you think you can push your pooch before he goes Ol’ Yeller on your ass with a Tech-9?