Ain’t love grand? …Until it all comes to an end!

In the quest for love, as sweet as the prize may be, the journey is often rough at best. It seems the magic inevitably fades and the mire of emotions surrounding the breakup quickly overshadow the bliss of the initial union.

There is no formula for finding that one true love; it is very much trial and error, a truth that seems cruelly unfair given the briefness of life. Many times we end up wasting precious months, even years in relationships that do not last.

It makes one wonder if perhaps that “one true love” is not simply elusive but non-existent?

Actually the fault does lays in the concept of “one true love” and what that concept implies. For one, to believe that there is only one mystery person for each of us automatically condemns us to a life of futile trial and error relationships.

This notion only creates anxiety and desperation since with each failed relationship we have wasted precious time. Also if you consider statistical possibility that your soul mate is actually living in the same area of the World as you are at any given time, the quest for that person becomes utterly hopeless.

But if we toss aside the concept of “one true love” we change the entire dynamic. All we have to do is realize that the perfection of each relationship we have is relative to who we are at any point in our lives. Once we accept this, we understand that there are no “failed” loves and no wasted time.

We can embrace each relationship for the time that it exists, celebrating the experience and in this remove many of the anxieties and pressures that often drive good relationship to an early grave, because it no longer matters if you are with someone for 1 week or 10 years.

Also by accepting that romance fades and by learning to let it go when it is time we can we can avoid all of jealousy and animosity that develops by dragging a dying relationship out past its expiration. Then we can take all of the good memories and experiences with us to the next relationship instead of the baggage and pain that often infects a new love.

Perhaps it may seem less romantic than the fairytales but it makes much more sense. Every relationship changes us; we learn new things about life and ourselves and with all there is to learn from one another and take from relationship we are quite literally spreading the love.