Why is there always a line at women’s bathrooms? Does it really take that much longer? I think not! I think the delays are due to potty chat.

Walk into a busy public restroom, say an airport or movie theater. Stick your head in both the Ladies Room and then the Men’s Room. The difference between a woman’s bathroom and a men’s bathroom is the difference between Grand Central Station and Gregorian Monastery. Men don’t typically chat it up in the shitter, well American men anyway.

I have noticed that my Indian Co-Workers do converse more openly in the restroom but still not to the degree that women do. In some places you will find sofas or chairs in the women’s bathroom. You are not going to find a guy lingering in the “facilities” long enough to use a sofa. Actually you would never even find a guy sitting down outside a stall. We don’t want to be eye level with other dudes crotch.

Guys don’t like doing anything in a public bathroom but what they went in there to do. Most guys won’t even use those paper seat covers because it, one deviates from the mission and two, it could make you appear to be a pansy; like going into a stall just to whiz when there is a urinal available.

I personally like the seat covers though, they serve a dual purpose. They are there to make you feel that you are protected from germs (not really). But they also shield you from cold toilet seats and the flap that hangs in the water so that the sheet is pulled in when you flush (by the way, shear genius), also prevents “ass splash”.

Now one thing that has always made me curious are the messages on urinal cakes and mats. Why do they have “Say No To Drugs” printed on them? Shouldn’t they have something more useful for the current situation? Like, “Wash Your Hands” or “Shake Twice” maybe “Stop Looking Here, People Think You Staring at Your Dick” or something really useful like, “Don’t lean against the sink when you wash your hands or you will get your pants wet and everyone will think you pissed yourself.”